Life in Freeze frame - where now?

I found a link to this on another blogger's site (  ThresholdMum  ) so thought I would give it a go as it sounded like fun.

My life is in freeze frame. We have taken the decision to head to the UK for education and to be together as a family. And yet I feel sad, sad that a life in France was not to be, sad that we are back in the UK but without real purpose as my husband is looking to change jobs but to what and where is unknown.
I have no jewellery tools to make any new designs and feel very much in limbo. I am starting to feel that I need and want more in my life than being the trailing spouse. But I can never be the major bread winner as I have been out of the habit of a sizeable salary for so long. Therefore I have to continue to wait until my husband lands a new job, a new house is found and the children are happy and settled.
And yet that has an indefinite timeline. So maybe I should use it to work out what it is I want to do, what I can do? With that then maybe I can answer the where now? Not just for my family but for me.

Where do I start?......

I knew moving to France would, like everywhere, bring its own challenges. From having done a lot of research and talking with others who have already trodden this path I knew about the long administrative processes and the French love of paperwork. I knew about the settling in process, how it is a bit of a roller coaster experience until you begin to feel more "at home". What I wasn't expecting was the accidents of life.

Snow was forecast for our area for Sunday 29th. It was our youngest's birthday and we had promised him months ago that he could go skiing on his birthday to make up for the fact that he wouldn't really know anyone well enough to have a party. We woke up in anticipation of a white-out. But alas, nothing. So we headed off to Ax-Les Thermes and the resort of Bonascre. It lies south of Foix about an hour and a quarter from our house. We had winter tyres on and so felt confident that we would be ok on the roads. The snow didn't appear until we got to Ax. We saw many people putting snow chains on and wondered if we needed them. The sports shops were selling them so we decided not to be macho and buy a set putting them on as we saw the hill we needed to climb to get to Bonascre.

Blizzard conditions up the mountain!

We got to the top and set about organising ski hire and ski passes. We then headed up the mountain in the gondola. The weather got worse with every metre climbed. We got out half way up and immediately found ourselves in a snowstorm. Visibility no further than a few metres. Not the weather the children are used to and certainly not what they were expecting. But they slowly got their "ski-legs" back and we wound our way slowly back down the mountain. After about 3 hours we decided that we would call it a day and head for some chocolat chaud. 


200m from the bottom I turned to stop waiting for our youngest to start off again so that I would be behind him ready to help if needed. I was going slowly, too slowly and in turning right the back end of my left ski didn't. However the leg and the knee did. I heard a "crack" and fell over. Having previously ripped my right ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) many years ago I knew what it felt like. So believe thatI have managed to do the same to my left!!!


The fun didn't stop there though. After being transported down the hill in the sledge head first, I was put in the front if the ambulance as there was a bloke on a stretcher on the back. As we're heading off down the very steep slope the ambulance starts sliding out of control towards the edge and the crash barrier! The other helper in the car got out and put herself between the barrier and the vehicle to try to push the car around so that it was back facing down the hill. After this I discovered that there was only one chain on one tyre as the second chain had broken. 


We crawled down the hill in first gear. Then about 2 turns from the bottom and the clearer roads we came upon a bus coming up the hill. It had stopped to put chains on. He hadn't thought about stopping before the hill! So we sat for ages watching the driver get in and out the bus inching it forward and back to get it aligned with the chains and every time  he got out he slipped on the ice. By then there was a huge queue behind us and one guy decided to overtake - then he realised why we'd all stopped as we couldn't get passed the bus! So he put his brakes on and slid right into the back if the ambulance! To top it all I had been needing the loo since about 11 am and had not yet been. I was now fit to burst and couldn't hold it in any longer so I told the ambulance lady and she got a sheet out and held it, with the help of my hubby, to maintain my modesty whilst I did the biggest wee ever at the side if the road!! Took us 2 and a half hours to go a journey that should normally take about 40!!! 


When we got to the hospital I was seen quite quickly and had my knee x-rayed to check there was no fracture. I was then given a full length leg brace to stabilise it and keep it straight. I have to keep it like that for 10 days waiting for the swelling to reduce. I had to then phone on Monday to make an appointment to see the specialist surgeon on Wed 8th. Which, perhaps unlike the UK, I got with no problem. The surgeon will then tell me how bad, or not, my knee is. Hadn't planned on experiencing the French medical system so soon. Haven't yet joined their social security system or taken out insurance - so lets hope the EHIC (European Health Insurance Card) works! On a positive note my husband is till here to drive the kids to school and ensure we have some food - so something good has come of it. Who knows what will happen next week!

Challenges

 I wrote last week about the challenges I had to face this week. Some went well, some didn't happen at all and then there were challenges that popped out at me!

First up was getting on with everyday life without my other half. Having done this numerous times before I thought I would have this nailed. But having to cope with it 3 weeks after having arrived in a new country, with all of our "life", bar what we fitted into 6 suitcases, in a warehouse somewhere in the UK, and hundreds of miles away from friends and family was a lot harder than I imagined. It has led to some lows this week and brings out the "snappy mum" in me. This is where the smallest things that the kids do, which would normally be dealt with calmly lead to me shouting and sounding like a crazed banshee. Not helpful for anybody! But we have all managed to make it through the week unscathed.

Getting the headlights swapped over for left-hand-drive ones is the first step of 8 required to get the car registered here. Luckily the husband of the estate agent lady that we've made friends with here knew a guy who sells Volvo parts just in the next village along. And amazingly enough he had lights for our age of car! There was just the simple problem of how to get back to the house (4 miles away uphill) whilst he had the car for 2 hours. I normally hate having to depend on others and have never been good at asking for help but I tried it on Tuesday when I asked our lovely Dutch neighbours if they wouldn't mind picking me up and taking me back. They were of course delighted to help. This week really proved how much nicer life can be when people help out with just little things.

The main challenge I faced this week was my confidence with the language and that was going to be tested on Friday at the course for parent volunteers to help with school cross-country skiing groups. I knew I had to get skis but wasn't sure where the best place to hire them would be. The headmaster caught me at school drop-off on Monday to ask for my height and shoe size as he was going to get me skis and boots from the central store. He also warned me that there wasn't much snow at the training area and therefore the course might not happen. I didn't know what I wanted to hope for. No snow, meant I didn't need to get out of my comfort zone and yet I wouldn't be able to help out on the school trip. In the end, the course was cancelled but the head said I could still go to help out, I just wouldn't be qualified to take a group. So at least I will still see the boys try a new sport and help with the translation!

Another unforeseen challenge was something that should have been a breeze - changing the brake light. I it is something I have done before. I had spare bulbs, I had the instruction manual. It was all in english so no problem with understanding. However the bits that were meant to twist and remove just refused to budge! Having spent half an hour on it on Wednesday I was determined to give it another go on Thursday. Perhaps it was the sunshine, or perhaps it was the screwdriver I found that helped the cover to come off - either way I succeeded. Definitely the small things that give most satisfaction!

Next week holds the bitter sweet pleasure of hubby back for 2 nights. It will be lovely to see him but then there's the same mini-grieving process to go through when I drop him off at the airport. It's also the school trip to Beille for the ski de fond (cross country skiing). On top of that the forecast is predicting 3cm of snow on Sunday so my youngest should be entertained on his birthday!